MTv never told me the Real World would be like this*

I was born in the 80s. This can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but to me it means that I have never known a day without television. I grew up in a house where TV was the constant. No matter what was going on outside or inside the house, the TV was always on. You can see how that might cause me to form a secure attachment to this inanimate object. As a kid I didn’t have any say in what was on the TV, but learned that my parents liked having it on so it was a way for us to to talk to each other. (Don’t worry, I’ve covered this in therapy already.) As I grew older, I was able to explore the world through this portal in the living room on my own.

I can remember scheduling my days by when TV shows would come on. There were “before school” shows, “after school shows”, shows I’d watch with my family, etc. Back then, we had to be in front of the TV at a certain time or we would miss it. None of this on demand/streaming business. (Outside of the recording on a VHS tape, but that’s a story for another day.) So I would work diligently to get my homework done before Friends, be in bed by the local news, wake up early on Saturdays to catch Garfield, and babysit my sister using TV as a clock.

In the late 80s and early 90s there was as plethora of family comedies on TV. Seeing these families, though they were manufactured for capitalism, got me to look at my own family and ask questions about what is wrong here. (Again, don’t worry, my therapist is aware.) I used to think that these families - The Huxtibles, The Keatons - were like my neighbors. Seeing these little snippets of their lives had me wondering what they were up to when I wasn’t watching them on TV. Yes, I know this sounds creepy, but it’s just how my brain worked back then. I was desperately seeking connection and these families on TV provided that for me, however twisted that might be.

Then came reality TV. When the Real World came out in 1992, I knew this was something big. I was like THIS, this is what I thought TV always was. Again, not picking up on the fact that this show also had a team of producers and editors that helped shape the story. To me this was a real window into the lives of seven strangers. It was so fascinating. I loved learning about how people from all over had to learn to live together. The Real World was my first time seeing LGBTQ+ people living their lives, it was the first time I saw real people having conversations about race, it was the first time I saw someone living with AIDS. It was a lot of firsts.

I’ve watched a lot of TV in my life.

AND

It’s helped me.

TV has always been my way to connect with others. There’s always some show that’s capturing the conversation of the nation and it was always fun to be a part of it. Think Sunday night HBO or Must See TV. Those “water cooler” moments always made work more bearable. For someone like me who didn’t have many friends, being a part of these conversations was a way in. I guess, now that I’m writing about it TV was a survival mechanism for me (Okay, that one’s going on the therapy list, we haven’t covered that yet).

Anyway, now that I’ve sorted through most of the trauma around television basically becoming my BFF, I want to share with you what I’ve learned from it all. I want to dive deep into the shows that really shaped me as a person and explore what it was about those moments that left such an impact on me. And maybe, just maybe, through this portal of where ever you’re reading this - we’ll learn a bit more about each other along the way.

*Fun fact - this has been my internet tagline since AIM and now it's turned into it's own creative project (with inspiration from Priscilla Thomas.) Sometimes the things you need are right in front of you.